Saturday, August 16, 2008

My peeps

Moms need friends who are moms. Not exclusively of course, but we need other moms in our lives to talk to, to learn from, to support and be supported.

I've been having a hard time finding these moms in real life.

As much as I love Raleigh, I have to admit, I have never found a social niche as a woman. Ever since I gave up the nightlife, playing in bands and frequenting open mics, I haven't really had a "go to group." Now, as a mother in Raleigh, I find myself often on the sidelines, not able to jump in a conversation without tripping over my mouth and falling on my own words. I rarely see babies in slings while I'm out, and I almost never see nursing mothers out in public. It's been a little lonely.

At the pool last week, I ran into a mother from our Music Together class. The mother of the shaker thrower. She was very nice, introducing me to her friends and actually including me in some of the conversation. I remained slightly interested until one of her friends actually referred to a neighbor of theirs as a "total nerd," and bemoaned the fact that they would have to invite this nerd to their Bunko game.

I don't even know what Bunko is. I do, however, know what a nerd is, and I'm quite certain that I fit that definition to a tee in their world. That fact? Does not make me sad.

Today, Christopher and I struck out for A Family, A Fair at Bond Park in Cary. La Leche League of Cary was sponsoring the event as a fundraiser and in conjunction with World Breastfeeding Week.

One of the first people I saw was Julie, my doula. I don't think she could tell that I almost cried as I hugged her. I saw Jessica, my childbirth instructor, and then I saw Stephanie, who took Christopher's newborn portraits. Jamie, my postpartum doula, was at the Hypnobirthing table, and Kara was sharing a table with her mother-in-law who just so happens to be one of my favorite people in the whole world.

I don't consider myself a lactavist. I have attended a La Leche League meeting once a month since Christopher's birth except for June and July when we were out of town. But I'm not very crunchy. I'm not certainly not soggy, but I'm not crunchy. It never occurred to me that I would fit in with the LLL crowd.

But today? Two hours flew by and I had smiled, laughed, and talked more than I have in months. Every conversation I had, be it with someone I already knew or a total stranger, was comfortable. Slings were more prevalent than strollers. It was easy to eat a lunch with no dairy because the caterers were vegan. And obviously, there were nursing mothers feeding their children all over.

I called my momma on the way home. I told her that I felt like I had found my people. I was only partially kidding.

It felt good to fit in somewhere. Really good.

To top it all up, I came home with an awesome nursing shirt, a new UV Moby wrap, and a Medela Swing pump from the silent auction. Bonus.

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