Mama Ran a Marathon

How fast a mile can you run? When I was in high school, I think I ran
on average a seven minute mile. Using that time, do you think you can
keep it up for 25.2 more? Averaging 7 minutes a mile is good enough to
finish 21st in the OBX Marathon.

In
order to take 1st place, you would have to run 26.2 miles at an average
pace of 5:46 per mile. Personally, I couldn't even run that fast for
one mile, let alone 26.2. I didn't let that stop me from participating
in this year's OBX Marathon.  My goal was definitely not to win, it wasn't even to reach a set time, it was just to finish... and finish I did.

Here's a quick summary of things overheard, thought, and laughed at during our marathoning adventure:

Mile 1- If I have to run the whole marathon next to this guy with jingle bells on his shoes, I WILL KILL someone.

Mile 2- Mr. Jingle Bells is officially dubbed "Mr. Tinkle Winky" as he has already stopped to pee TWICE.

Mile 4- There's my sweet baby's face.  Geez, he seems to have recruited a small following.

Mile 5- There are runners actually taking jello shots and Bloody Mary's from the crowd.  Seriously, there's still 21 miles to go.

Mile 8-
Crap! Crap! Crap! I just dropped my ibuprofen in the porta-potty. Do I
dare pick it up? No, that's just too gross. I'll just suffer.

Mile 12.5- Overheard upon the Stack'em High Pancake hill: "Um, this wasn't mentioned in the brochure.  I knew about the bridge, but this?"

Mile 13- I'm never going to get away from Mr. Jingle Bells.  Never.

Mile 15- I could really use some GU at this aid station, but I guess I'll settle for spreading Vaseline over all my chafes.

Mile 17- There was supposed to be GU, right?

Mile 18- I can see where mile 19 is, so could somebody distract that official while I take this shortcut? Anybody?

Mile 19- Seriously considering the 3/4 of banana left on the side of the road.  I'm THAT hungry.  Maybe I'll locate an unopened GU pack.

Mile 20- Dashing through the snow.  In a one horse open sleigh.  Who wears bells on shoes?  Idiots, that's who.

Mile 21- Ooo... an unopened GU pack.  Score!  Crap, it's empty and I bent over for that.

Mile 22- This bridge doesn't look so bad.  I can handle this.

Mile 22.1- Crap!

Mile 23-  I think we've finally lost Mr. Jingle Bells.

Mile 25- Is
this the home stretch? Look at all these people who are already done. I
better hurry up. Hubby won't hurry up with me so I'll take it easy so
long as no one else passes me.

Mile 25.3- Where's the end already?

Mile 25.6- Are we there yet?

Mile 25.8- Do you suppose those balloons are the end?

Mile 26- Better start running again so I look good in my finisher photo.

Mile 26.2- Why do they always have to play such horrible music at sporting events?  Oh, I'm done.

With
a final time of 5 hours, 37 minutes, and 7 seconds, I completed my 1st
marathon. Not a great time but it's better than these guys:

Take that Freddy Prinze, Jr!

Next up...

That's right, Al.  I'm coming for you.

Crossposted at My Sweet Babboo.  When she's not running (which is most of the time), Abby can be found blogging her life away at My Sweet Babboo.