An Unpaid Endorsement of My Holiday Haunts

by Ilina

With the holidays creeping upon us and beckoning us to the big box retailers, there are more than a few ideas brewing my
head to keep it local this year. I'm making my list and checking it twice. Who am I kidding? I'm
not checking it at all. It's all I can do to write the list down on a
scrap of torn envelope from my daily ration of junk mail. There are
some places I will hit this holiday season for sure. Keep in mind this
is not host of paid endorsements; these are independently owned
business that I happen love. I would love to know some of your faves, especially since mine are clearly Raleigh-centric! Here are a few of my favorite Triangle things.

Tookies Toys: Independently owned toy store in Cameron Village that carries an awesome selection of Playmobil
and other European brands. The wall of games is great, and the beefed
up science section leaves my six year old drooling. The best part is no
crazy testosterone laden shoot 'em up flaming, bursting, wheeling toys
that some "experts" think boys must play with. And hands down the best
looking wrapped gifts to boot! Did I mention free gift wrapping?

The Lollipop Shop: Did someone mention candy? This is a newcomer to North Hills that carries a mouthwatering buffet, I mean array, of old school candy and new fangled
treats. My sons love the wind up toys and teddy bear accessories. Deal
recently chose a fire chief hat for his little sidekick "Beary." Bird indulged in colorful rock candy and German-made gummi bears. The rainbow of M & Ms and wall of Jelly Bellys make me feel like, well, a kid in a candy store!

Marbles Kids Museum and Museum of Life + Science:
Wonderful places to wile away the hours, rain or shine. A museum
membership makes a dandy holiday gift (and a fantastic present to a kid
who's going to be a big brother or sister!). There are times we go to
Marbles twice in a week just because the boys want to embrace their
inner Scurvy Dog and Black Beard on the pirate ship or bang the drums
in "Brazil." The Life + Science Museum never disappoints. The bears are
always a kick, and the remote control sailboat racing makes us all
captain for a day.

Moxie Kids:
This is where the cool kids shop. Or in our case, this is where the
cool kids' grandfather shops. If you happen to see my sons looking
particularly snazzy, it's because they're sporting some Tea Collection
or Charlie Rockets garb from Moxie Kids. The store is chic and cute without being pretentious. The girls clothes are simply
breathtaking. It's almost worth having a baby girl just to shop there.
Almost.

Cameron Village Library: Forget Cheers, this
is the place where everybody knows our names. When Bird turned one we
donated copies of his favorite books to the library to commemorate his
birthday. If you, like me, see the magic of books, donating to your
local library is a fine fine gift. Talk about the perfect gift for the
person who has everything and the gift that keeps on giving all wrapped
up in one handsome cliche package! Look for The Cat in the Hat at Cameron
Village Library with Bird's nameplate pasted in the cover.

One last thing...

Over the holidays and randomly throughout the year, we take a batch of cupcakes or brownies to the fine fire fighters at Station 6. They've come not once, but twice to save my little Deal (once when he was choking and a second time when he did this).
They literally saved my son's life. Twice. A few doses of sugar fail
miserably as a thank you, but think about it, nothing is grand enough
to show our gratitude for the best gift we have ever gotten.

Ilina blogs about her musings and sons' escapades at Dirt & Noise and supports local businesses in her off time. If you want to follow her non sequitors, follow her on Twitter @ilinap. She also somehow manages to run iFactor, her own marketing consulting business, and cooks home cooked meals every night. Almost.

Maybe She's Just Having A Bad Day

My typical method for coping with being home with children
all summer is to simply not be home. 
Don�t get me wrong, I am a homebody at heart but I find that keeping us
all out of the house as much as possible is best for everyone�s mood.  Out in the world, either at the museum,
pool or the river, I find that I am more present with my kids.  I can interact with them without being
distracted by other things that I think I should be doing.  No work, no household chores, no
Facebook or blogs � just my children and me.

It sounds so perfectly serene, doesn�t it?  Except lately, each outing seems to end
with my turning into that mom that is pitied, judged or held up as an
example.  Take for instance, our
last trip to the Museum of Life and Science.  Dean was bitten by what he described as a �small black
spider� and his hand instantly began to swell.  He was in pain and we were the furthest point from the car
that we could be so I rounded up my crew and we began to walk back to a place
where we could get ice.  Not
knowing if he had a Black Widow bite or something worse, I was worried and
getting frustrated with Logan who was not cooperating.  Dean walked ahead and then was quickly
out of my sight.  When we reached
the spot I had assumed he would go, there was no Dean.  We had to go find him.  Jess, however, had the idea that we
would stop and eat at the caf�nd would not be consoled.  I was trying to stay calm but patient I
was not.  We were all hot, hungry
and tired.  I had to keep walking
with a six year old having a tantrum and a two year old having a sit-in on the
middle of the sidewalk. 

So I was shouting because I had one child not moving and too
big and wet from water play to be carried, one child sobbing and walking away
from me in his anger, and my oldest nowhere to be seen.  And people were looking.  I had one mom ask Logan where his mommy
was and a staff person ask me if the crying boy belonged to me.  When Dean caught up with me, I yelled,
�Where were you?!�   I think
part of me wanted to be loud about it because I wanted everyone to know that I
was scared - that I had good reason to be crabby with my kids.  So, yeah, I�m that mom.

Last week while Dean was at camp, I needed just a few things
from the grocery store.  I took the
youngest two into Whole Foods since we were in that neighborhood.  We started off so well.  Jess wanted to push the carriage and
was navigating the tiny aisles full of obstacles carefully.  Logan chose some peaches that he
literally chucked into the cart.  I
winced at that bruising fruit and suggested we put the peaches in a bag since
throwing them hurts them and makes them yucky.  Logan chose a few more and carefully placed them in the
bag.  We moved on.  By the time we found the milk, I was
less patient and just wanted our errand to be finished.  The quick stop was turning into a long,
drawn-out affair and I was no longer interested in quietly using my �nice
words.�  As I was trying to choose
the coffee, firmly hold Logan in place in the carriage so he wouldn�t jump
(again) and field Jess� relentless stream of questions, I became increasingly
snappish.  It was time to leave
whether or not we had everything we needed.  In the checkout lane, a cashier suggested that I take the
kids shopping at Super Wal-Mart instead. 
�Excuse me?� I said. 
Perhaps I didn�t hear him correctly.  He repeated himself adding, �If that is how they are going
to behave�� I paid for my items and left the store � but not before
accidentally ramming the cart into Logan�s face.  I do so like to make an exit scene.  Yeah, I�m that mom.

I�m the mom who goes somewhere with her kids and then when
they leave, everyone else knows her children�s names.  I�m the mom who is constantly trying to choose between
disciplining a child and letting him run amok.  I�m the mom who has to physically pull her child out of the
pool because he doesn�t want to leave. 
I�m the mom you hear hissing through clenched teeth, �You have until I
count to three�� Luckily, no one has questioned what happens on three.  We�ve never had to find out.  I�m the mom who handles her children�s
behaviors, no matter what scene ensues.

I�m the mom who has many tools in her toolbox to manage her
children.  I�m the mom who
sometimes runs out of tools.  I�m
the mom who sometimes gets exhausted using the rights words all the time and
making a game out of basic tasks. 
I�m the mom who sometimes just needs her kids to get into the damn car
seat already for the luvaGod.

I�m the mom who is sleep deprived and looks it.  And I�m the mom who might need her anti-depressant
dose increased and her caffeine dose decreased.  I�m the mom who needs your compassion and
understanding.  I might welcome a
sympathetic smile rather than your judgmental and snide remarks.  I�m that mom and I�m every other mom.

I�m the mom who calls the store manager when she gets home
to complain about the cashier�s rude comments and threatens a boycott on behalf
of all moms.  (You with me?)  I�m the mom who can say her children
are difficult but will take offense if someone else says it because I am their
mom.  I live with them.  I am the mom raising them.  And I�m the mom who loves them.  I am well aware of their faults � and I
love them anyway.

I�m not the mom that I thought I�d be.  Sometimes I have it all together and
lots of times, I just don�t.  But
my kids aren�t the kids I thought they would be either. I�m trying.  And I know they are too.  And 99% of the time, I wouldn�t change
a thing.  But you�ll understand if
you don�t see me shopping at Whole Foods for a while, won�t you?

This is a Triangle Mamas original post posted by Susie.  Susie occasionally blogs about the joys and mishaps of being a mom to three boys at At Home With Me when she is not busy being humiliated by pretentious store clerks.