Just Desserts

Warning: If you are on a diet and hoping to stay that way do NOT read this post. It will ruin your diet.

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Lately, my family has been in a bit of a food rut. I shouldn't say a food rut instead more of a restaurant rut. Here's an example of a common conversation at our house.

Hubby: What's for dinner?
Me: I don't know I forgot to thaw the chicken. What are YOU making? (said with undeserved snark)
Hubby: Well, we can just go out.
Me: (still irritated) Fine. Where?
Hubby: I don't know. Where do you want to go?
Me: (Huge dramatic sigh.) Why do I always have to decide everything? I'm sick of being the one who has to make all the decisions. You decide.
Hubby: (Now losing patience.) Fine, let's just go to Elmo's.
Me: Fine.

If that sounds about right for your family as well, I have a little something you might like.

It's a local blog called Carpe Durham. From what I can tell, it's written by a bunch of Duke Law students who have made it their goal to eat at a bunch of random Durham restaurants and then review them.

How's this great for you? It's going to help you mix it up a bit on those nights you just don't want to cook. Elmo's is great, but it can get old quickly.

Carpe Durham is a great resource for finding restaurants that aren't so mainstream. (These guys aren't visiting the apostrophes: Applebee's, Chili's, etc.)

My family has already tried out a few and I've got to say, I loved them.

Last Friday night, we hit up the top of our list for Carpe Durham recommendations, The Mad Popper,
to get a yummy treat for our movie night-in. The Mad Popper is a definite two thumbs up for a popcorn lover like me and pretty much anyone who likes sweet treats. With so many different flavors, it's hard to go wrong. We chose to fill our bucket with strawberry, Mad Popper mix, and the Mardi Gras mix (lemon, grape, and green apple). I'm thinking the Mad Popper may be my go-to place for hostess gifts from now on.

The next Carpe Durham recommendation we tried out was also amazing. It's one of those things where we are smacking ourselves for not trying earlier since it's only a few blocks from our house.  On Saturday mornings, about one block north of the Durham Farmer's Market at the corner of Foster and Geer streets sits an Airstream.  It is in this Airstream that you will find Daisycakes maker of the most delectable desserts and breakfast treats known to mankind. Their Hazelnut and Cherry Pop't-Arts are divine.  Linus, currently on the under 3 nut ban, sampled a scone and though he can't actually tell us he enjoyed it, there were only mere crumbs remaining when he was finished. Also sampled were a pair of cupcakes (one red velvet and another passion fruit-chocolate) which were not only visually stunning, but tasted great too.

So, here's my suggestion for the upcoming warm weather weekend- visit one if not both of these fine establishments or any of the others recommended by Carpe Durham. Spoil yourself with some treats and work off the calories during a stroll through Duke Gardens. You might even run into us doing the same thing.

An original Triangle Mamas post.  Abby, like her son Linus, loves good food. When she's not eating her way around Durham, she can be found blogging at My Sweet Babboo.

Motherhood Crazies

This wasn't at all what I was going to write about today, but I really wanted to share something, or I should say someone, I stumbled upon today while listening to NPR.

On Wednesday's broadcast of The State of Things on our local affiliate WUNC, the discussion was about Postpartum Depression (PPD) and it's effects on both mother and child's health as well as how it is treated and responded to in our current society. According to the show at least 15% of new mothers experience PPD, but most experts believe that number is low as many mothers simply do not seek help.

It was a very interesting discussion and wonderful to learn that some of the greatest advances in helping PPD moms are being made right here in the Triangle. (Click here to listen.)

However, the most exciting thing to me was one of the panelists they had participating. Faulkner Fox is a local author and mother who has written a book about her experiences with new motherhood called, Dispatches from a Not-So-Perfect Life: or How I Learned to Love the House, the Man, the Child. I was very intrigued simply by the title but also her contributions to the discussion. She was speaking about the pressures to be the 'perfect' mother that society places on mothers. To say I was doing my best bobble-head impression would be underestimating my reaction. I found myself identifying with so much of what she was saying.



After listening to the discussion on my drive home from playgroup, I quickly logged on to the library site to see if her book was available. I intend to check it out as soon as possible and devour as time allows. Want to join me?



In the meantime, I also found myself nodding in agreement while reading an article she has written about mommies judging other mommies and the harmful effects of this kind of behavior. In all honesty, I've found the constant judgments from other parents to be one of the greatest challenges of being a new parent. And, I'm guilty of it myself. I've found my network of mommy bloggers to be one of mostly support but occasionally there are lurkers out there waiting to spew their ugliness (see anonymous commenter on this post of Steph's or Razzle on Kristen's fabulous post).


For my part, I try to be honest in my writing about the challenges, emotional ups and downs, and stresses of motherhood. I try not to hide it. I prefer not to just write about the happiness that my son and family bring me but also my struggles. I want other mothers to know that being a mother is not easy... not for me anyway.



So, I guess what I want to know from you is how can we change it? How do we stop with the ridiculous judgments and move forward to form a community of mommies? How will you yourself make an effort to change?


Crossposted at My Sweet Babboo. An avid listener of WUNC, Abby usually hears less than half of the each article because her toddler is loudly demanding more food. Read more about her life with Linus at My Sweet Babboo.

Power to the Mommies

Do you remember the Motrin Moms incident in November? It was one of the first times Mommy bloggers really used their power and change happened.

Once all of the talk and excitement settled down, the question remaining was, "What do you want to change next?" In January, the answer came with the impending enactment of the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008 (CPSIA). Mommy bloggers, work-at-home moms, and moms everywhere were concerned about how increased and costly safety testing could put thousands of small businesses, Etsy sellers, and many, many work-at-home moms out of business.

Of course as mothers, we want the toys our children play with to be unequivocally safe and we want them to be lead-free. However this act in its sweeping legislative action would potentially have done more to hurt the safe toy industry then it was likely to help. What toys could be safer than ones made by other mommies who are solely dependent on customer happiness and loyalty to remain in business?

In the end, Mommies took to the internet voicing their concerns on blogs, Twitter, through their votes at change.org, and even by contacting their government representatives. And their voices were heard. On January 30th, the Consumer Products Safety Commission granted a one year stay of testing and certification requirements in order to have"more time to finalize four proposed rules which could relieve certain materials and products from lead testing and to issue more guidance on when testing is required and how it is to be conducted."

This was good news to everyone who voiced concerns over this act but most especially to the small businesses who would have been affected. Of course, it is important to note that the work is not finished as now input is needed in how to change this body of legislation to follow through on its good intentions without leaving the path of destruction the original bill would have.

As amazed as I was to see the stay happen, I was even more amazed at the power of the mom, the power of the people. All too often that sweatpants wearing, toddler toting mom is written off as unimportant compared to the executive in the Armani suit, but this stay proves that the mommies of this country have an incredible power and are beginning to use it. In that way, it really is going to be "The Year of the Mom".

An original Triangle Mamas post. Abby has to be vocal about government legislation that bothers her because she's more likely to be heard by the President than by her own 18 month old. She blogs, in case you'd like to listen, at My Sweet Babboo.

Directionless Mommy Travels

Believe me when I tell you it is easy to find. Kidzu, a children's play museum, in Chapel Hill is conveniently located on Franklin Street in the heart of Chapel Hill. It is REALLY easy to find. Which is why I can't believe it took me at least 5 turn-arounds, 3 check-ins with my GPS, and 2 more check-ins with Google maps on my iPhone to get there.

Of course, I wasn't entering Chapel Hill from my usual route. Instead I had decided to make a stop at NC Birth and Wellness Center to pick-up some Bummis from their fantastic natural baby boutique. (Have you been there? They carry babywearing, cloth diapering, and breastfeeding supplies galore.) So, I was heading into Chapel Hill from a different direction than I was used to.

Add to that the fact that my GPS actually had me turn left into a parking lot, turn left two more times, and wanted me to turn left a final time (yes, a complete rectangle of driving) but I refused.

Finally after 20 minutes, I manage to successfully navigate myself (ignoring the GPS) to Franklin Street.  Now onto the greatest challenge in journeying to Kidzu (or anywhere else along Franklin Street) finding a parking spot. Since I was already stressed about getting there, I opted to not parallel park. (I'm miserable at it.) I know what you're thinking... That means you will park where exactly? I parked in a parking garage a good three blocks away, that's where.

By now you are thinking that this story of my pathetic navigation skills will come to end with us arriving happily at Kidzu. Well, you're wrong. Instead, I venture out what looks to be the exit of the parking garage which opens into an alley. Thinking the alley will lead me to the street, Linus and I head out. After walking about a block's length down the alley searching for an out, I reach a deadend and am forced to turn around. Returning to the parking garage, I decide to exit the same way we entered which puts us out on Rosemary Street. Heading up Rosemary Street, I'm unsure exactly where I am in relation to Kidzu but I do know how to get to Franklin.

Standing on the corner of Franklin and Columbia, I'm faced with another directional decision and, of course, choose poorly crossing Columbia and heading down Franklin Street away from Kidzu which only moments before was a mere one shop length away. Traveling about a half a block further, I begin to suspect my mistake and complete yet another turn around. Heading back, I decide Kidzu must be on the other side of Franklin (no idea where I got that idea) and proceed to cross Franklin. Once across, the Gods above take pity on my soul as I look up and can actually see Kidzu cattycorner from where I am standing.

With a weary mind and a severe arm cramp from hauling around my 25 pound toddler, we finally arrive at Kidzu, 30 minutes later than I had planned, but are able to relax and have a good time because that is definitely what Kidzu is made for, a good time.

And, it really is easy to find. Just don't ask me for directions because I have NO idea.

An original Triangle Mamas post. Abby also blogs at My Sweet Babboo about finding her way around life with a toddler.

Social Anxiety

It�s coming. The one thing I have absolutely been dreading about being a parent: playdates.

I�m not talking playgroup.  I�ve been part of a fantastic playgroup since Linus was 6 weeks old, a group of fabulous mommas that I met through post-natal exercise classes at the Teer House.  It�s not playdates with them that I�m dreading. No, it�s playdates with others, and I know the time is coming because I was solicited at the park today.

If you don�t know me in person, you won�t know that I kind of suffer from social anxiety. I will often make myself ill with worry before a party and my husband will have to literally force me out of the house (something not easy for a wallflower like him).  I�m great at social networking as long as it is online. Real life? Not so much.

That�s why when a really friendly mommy at the park started chatting me up today, my heart started racing, my inner voice practically begging Linus to run off so I could chase him.  I managed to stay relatively calm (at least I hope so) as we covered ages, poop habits, breastfeeding, and other general niceties. Heck, I was even the first one to introduce myself. (Score one for me.) But when the topic of eventual playdates was broached, I found myself bumbling for words, not quite sure of what was coming out of my mouth. It just seemed too soon. We had only just met and now we�re talking playdates?!?

I know that eventually I am going to have to start arranging get togethers for Linus. I can�t keep him locked inside the house with his hermit-like parents. I mean, this is the kid that waves at everybody. I�m just not sure I�m quite ready for it.  Ask me again when he�s 15.  Maybe then I�ll be ready.

An original Triangle Mamas post.  When not actively avoiding people, Abby can be found frequenting the parks of Durham as well as blogging at My Sweet Babboo.

Why Moms Wear Sweatpants

Crossposted at My Sweet Babboo.  Abby can be found sweatpants and all blogging at My Sweet Babboo.  That is, unless she's out buying new sweats at Old Navy.

Stay tuned for Triangle Mamas' first giveaway this week!